Flipping one’s lid

angerWe all know there is just one thing that is the final straw, breaks the camels back, pushes us over the edge and BOOM.  For me, it was a parking fine letter from the hospital we attend for all his diabetes-related care.  At the moment we go every two weeks as we are trying to get his levels sorted, and I always pay the very second I switch off the engine when we arrive.  The company that polices the visitor car park is private, so you know they are hawk-like watching you on CCTV somewhere from the moment my car bumper arrives in the car park.  I have the app on my phone for them, both my and my husbands’ car registrations are on the app and it’s a simple tip tap process to pay.  Which I did on this particular day, tapped, paid and got a receipt for.  It did ask me to put in my car reg again which I did, and as we were just on time we made our appointment.  So to get a letter demanding £40 for the car parking fine, which if I appealed would be £70 – was the thing that flipped me into full-on red mist.  I know it’s all to do with the daily grind of life, I do everything to make it all work, the cogs and wheels well oiled and all that.  Add to this all the organisation of T1, the daily brain space, online ordering, phone calls to order, chase and ask questions, the thinking that is needed.  I like to think I’m shit-hot at admin and can attest my love of stationery to this finely honed skill, which is one of the reasons it made me so cross.  I was also so upset because T1 is an ongoing battle at times and it just wears you down, and let’s face I’d paid and was still getting a bollocking, linked in my mind to T1 and it felt like a big slap.  I’d put two letters of my registration in twice, the whole reg was showing on the receipt; it was my error but I still paid (I’ve appealed so let’s see).  I ranted like a pro and go really upset, my boys saw the whole thing and my youngest said he’d pat it with his birthday money – which made me cry even more. On reflection it was good they saw me lose my shit, it’s human nature and they are going to feel this way at times in life and to hide it does no one any good, its real life.  Big hugs all around, a huge cup of tea and some Ellen on TV and I was me again.

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