Nice Tits

a8So after a care-free Summer in which I hardly saw the teenager as he was off with his mates from lunchtime till dusk.  He woke between 11 – 12, consumed a large amount of Oats & More, with even more toast with jam and lemon curd.  Then he was off on his bike, yes with a cycle helmet on.  He told me I was just like Claire from Modern Family; in a recent episode watched together Claire chased Luke down the road yelling about the helmet.  I’m not quite that bad, instead I use my mate who is a critical injury specialist lawyer to tell him tales of crushed brains, popping eye-balls and horrific injuries to ensure the helmet goes on each and every time.  It works, try it, scaring the utter shit out of the them way outweighs any banter from his mates about it.

And to be honest most do wear the helmet.  We did have a fun chat one night when he asked me why a girl had Snap Chat’d him a picture of her cleavage.   Hmmm, was my reaction.  He then went on to tell me she had been texting him a lot asking him to meet up, asking him where he was going, why didn’t he respond to her, was he at football later etc  The texts and messages were endless.  He had not replied to any, as he says ‘girls are too much effort’ and after that barrage of messaging it would seem so.  Not to mention the ‘Sharpie eybrows’ ‘endless tears’ and ‘shreiking’ that he finds perplexing.  I didn’t know the girls parents but I knew a mutual friend, who passed on the details.  Her Mum called, mortified and thankful and the same time.  I felt awkward talking to her, but I asked myself the question, would I have like to have known?  The answer was yes.  Drama over, girl now told to cool it, all is well again. He’s nearly 15 and is literally more interested Fifa, football, movies and his mates than girls.  It will flip I’m sure, but eventually boobs on his iPhone will, I am sure, be a lot more interesting at some point.

PS: Pic shown not actual boobs mentioned, just a random internet pic to illustrate and wow what a selection to choose from when you Google ‘cleavage’  80% fake I reckon.

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